We have heard that question a million times in the past 8 months and our usual response has been....pretty good. Today I want to take some time and reflect on what it has actually been like. The girls have done amazing. They have learned english, now like american food, have been in awe of everything here, are not so scared of dogs and cats, love their mami and papi, learned the ABC's and how to ride a tricycle, can now write their names, potty trained, have experienced holidays, seasons, birthdays, vacations, hospital visits and most of everything else without batting an eye (doctors visits with ouchies are not so fun!)
A note to future adoptive moms,
But the real question lies in how am I doing? It has been a struggle for me to become a stay-at-home mom with 3 preschoolers. The last 8 months have been hard and I am now able to say that I am coming out of the valley. The first couple of months were hard to adjust to the laundry, cooking, cleaning and maintaining of a family of 5. Giving up everything in my life to serve 3 little kids that sometimes I didn't like what they did or want to be around was a challenge. What mother can't stand to be around her children? But now I know that those feelings are o.k and these precious babies are more and more part of me every day. There were several days if not all days that I could not wait for my husband to come home. I prayed that I would make it through the day and still be sane. My poor children had to hear me be short with them as my frustrations grew to tremendous heights. As a mother, I beat myself up everyday for the ways I fall short in showering my children with love. It is a good thing that tomorrow always brings a fresh slate to work on. I am now focused on behavior issues and filling them with the love they need. It is amazing the transition that has taken place in me. I am still grieving the loss of my previous life including work, freedom, activities, friends and etc. But I look at my family and know that God has given me more than my share of blessings and with His help I continue to grow into the mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend/teacher/princess that He wants me to become.
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5 comments:
Penny,
It has been a big adjustment taking on three children and the task of understanding their wants and needs and having a language bearier. I have been so proud of both you and Brian as you have grown as parents. Your feelings on motherhood are normal for mom's many just won't admit it or refuse to take about it. I hear the same stories every day from the mom's I serve and care for. No one is prepared for the loss of self in parenting but the joy's of your children success and achivements make it all worth while. I keep you all in my prayers. the girls are so sweet.
Love
Ruth Ann (Annie)
Great post. Thanks for being "real." I have so enjoyed following your journey. My husband and I are just finishing our dossier to adopt siblings from Colombia. I must say your daughters are beautiful and you all are doing a fantastic job from all I've read. The girls have learned so much and look so happy - thanks I am sure to a great mommy and daddy!
It is not an easy transition, is it? Thanks for your post. Being a Mami is an intense job and requires so much sacrifice that it is painful!
I hope we get to meet each other some day, Penny! Are you able to come to the Colombia reunion in July?
Being a mom is a tough job, but going from 0-3 children instantly and all the cultural changes involved is even tougher! :) Don't beat yourself up about not being the perfect mom, none of us are! And thankfully, God doesn't require us to be perfect - we just have to keep trying and he takes care of the rest. I too am so glad that I get to start over fresh everyday. While I love my boys, they do make me crazy sometimes!!
karen
You speak what so many feel! The adoption process in itself is a life-changing event, and then you add in all of the other life changes once you get home. . . it can all be a little overwhelming at times. I, too, constantly challenge myself and pray to be a better mom. But I believe God knows that we are doing the best that we know how with His guidance. You are doing an amazing job!
Traci
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